I’ll tell you what, there isn't much that beats a Saturday spent tending to the grill. I decided it was high time for some authentic Eastern NC chopped BBQ and a big pot of collard greens. I had a system, I had the charcoal, and I had a plan. The only thing I didn't have, apparently, was a clock.

Step 1: Firing Up the Kamado

I started things off right by lighting the Kamado with some FOGO brand lump charcoal and a few good-sized chunks of mesquite wood. While that was getting happy, I got to work on the main event: a beautiful pork butt. I seasoned it heavily with a mix of Stubb's Texas Mesquite and Texas Dust "Barn Yard Pimp" rub. Once the grill hit a steady 250 degrees, I sat that pork butt right in the sweet spot and let the smoke do the work.

Step 2: The Greens (The "Secret Sauce" of the Meal)

While the meat was smoking, I shifted focus to the kitchen. You’ve got to wash those greens thoroughly—nobody wants grit in their dinner. I started the pot by frying up some bacon for that essential grease. Once the bacon was done, I tossed in the chopped greens, two cloves of garlic, a smoked turkey neck, Kinder's salt-pepper-garlic seasoning, and four capfuls of vinegar. I covered the pot and let it simmer until it smelled like Sunday at grandma's house.

Step 3: The Stall and the Score

That pork butt hit a stubborn stall at about 188 degrees. I didn't panic—I just pulled it off, wrapped it tight in foil, and let it rest for a good hour. After the rest, I chopped it up and added George’s BBQ Sauce for that classic vinegar kick.

I finally fixed myself a plate just as the Buffalo Bills scored a touchdown to take the lead. Now, I’m not a Bills fan, but I love a good game of football. Thinking the game was safely tucked away, I shut off the TV and sat down to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I was so deep into that BBQ and those greens that I completely forgot the world existed.

"The BBQ was a 10/10. My situational awareness? About a 2/10."

It turns out, the game wasn't over. I sat there in silent, delicious ignorance while the game went into overtime. I missed the most exciting finish of the weekend because I was too busy with a turkey neck and a fork. Was the BBQ worth it? Honestly, the food was so good it made up for missing the ending. When the greens are that tender and the pork is seasoned just right, it's hard to be mad at anything.